Tuesday night at our bi-weekly men’s meeting at church, we had a great discussion about a needed sense of desperation that most people don’t have in really acknowledging that they need God in their lives. It hit me pretty close that I had succumbed to this problem as well.
I’m fortunate enough to have everything I need in life. I have a house that I live in, food to eat, a job I go to so I can earn a living, and many other things that most of the population of the world would only dream of having. I had felt a personal disconnection with God. It’s not like I had a crisis of faith or anything like that, just I had been going on and not really felt his presence. I go to church twice a week (or more on special occasions for special stuff) and am plugged in. Something was still missing though. Worship at church has felt hollow for weeks and I just wanted to see God’s power somewhere.
The thing that hit me was that God hadn’t gone anywhere, I had stopped looking for him. As with any other relationship, if you don’t reach out and communicate with someone, the relationship goes dry. You still know that person and they are special to you, but you can’t see them in your life, they can’t affect you. This had become me. I hadn’t read scripture in a long while. I had gotten too busy. What had really happened was that I hadn’t made it a priority. No wonder I hadn’t felt God’s presence.
I’ve resolved now to keep Him a priority, even if it’s a bit at a time, I don’t want to push God to the back in place of something else that really doesn’t matter anyway. If I keep God first in my brain each day everything else I do will be run through a filter that will keep me where I should be. I’ll be happier and have more peace. I’ll be able to see Him work.
I know this is a little different than the norm, but it’s what has happened with me lately. Writing has slowed down with a drastic increase of stuff to do at work, but that will only keep on for a few weeks. I won’t be really busy in theatre stuff for several months. Fine Arts with the kids at church is picking up and we will roll out a practice/progress check schedule to the kids here soon. Life stays busy, but is good.